Ausencia vs Presencia

Ser o Estar - Jesse y Joy

No puedo esperar más sin tenerte junto a mí.
Desesperación es que no estes aquí.
Que no estes para verme caer,
Ni me pueda tu voz levantar.
Que dificil se vuelve lograr respirar.

No quiero ser,
No quiero hablar,
No quiero estar
Si tu no estas aquí.

No no puedo entender ya
Por que no te dejas llevar.
Dame una razón, dos para soportar.

Que no este para verte caer
Y te pueda mi voz levantar,
Que dificil se vuelve lograr, respirar.

No quiero estar si tu no estas aqui,
No entiendo lo que siento.
Como pensar en dejarte ir
Si digo que no importa miento.

Se empieza a notar si tú no estas
En mi comportamiento.
No se te ocurra pensar en decirme adios
No , no , no ,no , no ,no.

I Rant

“AAAH, YOU SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME”

I just hate when people scare me. Yet, and I wonder why, people just keep on frightening me, attacking me from behind and doing it on purpose.
Oh, but that’s not all… They give me the scare of my life but then just don’t care about my utmost frightening state, like “It’s not my fault. You scare easily.”
And then there’s my grandmother who scares me just by getting up from bed: “Calm down. You ain’t gonna die.” It’s just that I respect, I take seriously the “You scared me to death” expression. Who knows? And then if I eventually do get killed by the fright she “induced” on me, she’ll spend the rest of her life blaming herself just because one fine day she had decided, once more, to creep upon me or unexpectedly raise her voice.
I don’t like scares; I guess I’m afraid of everything but mostly of everyone or anyone. I feel like a bird looking at that figure that looks like a person (but it’s not) dressed in some old and shabby clothes and set up in the middle of a corn field just expecting to fright me away. This image haunts me… I hate scares, therefore I hate scarecrows.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained

I'm worried, busy trying to figure out where I stand and why you don't seem to care who's around me when I'm alone.

But it's all my fault. I'm an unmitigated quiter. When the right moment approaches I fleed the scene. Just can't help myself.

You rule my emotions, living without motion without you there. Nowhere to go to and nobody to come home to.

Go ahead and make a stand, you're emotionnaly balanced, unlike me.

I'm not trying to change your ways, just trying to make you come my way.

Just trying.

7 de Setembro de 2008, 00:27

Ciao Quaresma!

Me, Myself and I

I guess I’m in that period of life when one feels the need to understand himself in order to “get it right”.
I am very talkative; I talk and talk and talk a little more… especially when I’m nervous or excited about something. I annoy people.
I’m not normal. I can’t act like normal people do, it wouldn’t be fair.
People aren’t just who you think they are…there’s more to that that can meet the eye. So I love symmetries and hate comparisons…
Friends are funny. I can’t say I have many; I have enough to be able to live on.
I never know who to call my friend so I tend to call it to almost everyone I know and then of course all I get is a sidelong glace from a part of myself to the other one, this presuming that I am divided in two parts ( F.Y.I. the rational and the emotional one.)
I’m bearable but it’s not really up to me to say that.
Despite everything I do have a life. I’m not perfect.
Well, I kinda like my true blue ways.
I also have a thing for the writing process as a way to express, usually not perfectly enough, feelings and ideas that live only in our minds.
I just like to write and in English it sounds better because I tend to be more philosophical and less poetic.
Another process I particularly like is the process of meeting new people. It involves, at the beginning, a lack of mutual knowledge of the other one flaws and qualities…the heart of the process is, then, the finding of common details and tastes, most of the time.
And then again it might not happen the way we planned.
I don’t pay any attention to details; the secret is not to let yourself get too attached.
There are moments in life when you need to take a deep breath and enter a journey into the realm of your own mind.
I’m troubled.

At first sight

"There's no such thing as love at first sight,

there's only fascination at first sight!"

Porto Seguro.

Tudo deveria estar mais claro.
A ilusão é a pior coisa que me pode acontecer neste momento. Tudo parece ficar suspenso no tempo e espaço quando não te alcanço com o meu olhar e as minhas mãos. Sinto falta da tua presença reconfortante junto de mim. Toda a alegria e vontade parecem esvair-se da minha mente para se alojarem noutro local. Fico ocupada por pensamentos que governas. Pergunto por ti com medo de perceber por quem pergunto de verdade.
É difícil explicar mas quando finalmente chegaste, a calma acercou-se de mim e pude finalmente ser eu própria. Tive a certeza de que só bastava um desvio do meu olhar para te encontrar a ti – o meu porto seguro. Sei que exagero quando revejo tudo com outros olhos pois tenho a certeza de que o teu olhar diverge muitas vezes do meu.
A tua presença soube a pouco mas foi suficiente para ocupar os meus pensamentos nas horas que se seguiram. Pressinto que estou a ver para além do que de facto existiu e aconteceu, contudo não tenho coragem de voltar atrás e reiniciar tudo outra vez, sem preconceitos.
Tudo deveria estar mais claro.